A Relationships Counseling Professional Reveals What Makes a Marriage Healthy

How do you determine whether your marriage is good or bad? It is surprising how many people have no determining factors, and know nothing about their spouse’s determining factors. Such people are taken aback when their spouse mentions they want a divorce. It is important to know what makes you think your marriage is good and bad. Then, it is also essential to know what your spouse thinks makes your marriage good or bad. Below, a relationships counseling professional explains how people determine the health of their marriage.

1. People consider their marriages to be successful when they feel happy. There are people who judge their marital satisfaction based on their overall happiness. However, overall happiness is not always a sign of a healthy marriage. You may feel happy for reasons that have nothing to do with your relationship. Your satisfaction may stem from a successful career, hobbies, etc.
2. Other people think that the health of a marriage depends on how the couple handles difficulties together. If they’ve been through some good and bad times together, they assume that their marriage is stable. If you feel you can depend on your spouse when you are dealing with problems, grief and tragedy, you most probably think you have a good marriage.
3. Having Fun Together. For some couples, having fun together and sharing precious moments, is a good indication of a healthy marriage. Going on exciting vacations and even fun dates mean that they are happy with their marriage.
4. Accomplishing Things Together. Achievements mean happiness for some people. For them, a nice house, children and enough money mean that their marriage must be a success.

Feelings and Behavior

Couple counseling specialists say that it is important that you know whether the way you feel about your marriage is based on feelings or behavior. Some people feel good when they feel love for their spouse and feel that they are loved in return. For others, marriage satisfaction is determined by the behavior of their spouse. If their spouse does the chores, gives them presents or attention, they are happy with their marriage. The majority of people determine the health of their relationship based on a combination of behavior and feelings.

Sometimes it takes relationships counseling to find out what you spouse’s criteria for a happy marriage are. You have to know these criteria, in order to compare them with yours and work to overcome the differences, if possible. If you need help with improving your marriage, consider couple counseling. Nancy Bell - Marriage and Couples Counselor, in Bellevue, WA, is one professional who can guide you in your path to a better marriage or relationship.